It was my birthday a few days ago and I woke up to it crying…

I sat with the emotions for awhile.

reflecting on how it's always the most vulnerable time of the year 

Where my desire to be known and to be wanted wells up in my soul.

And I cry because in that moment it feels like I’m not

But then suddenly it shifted and I could see

What’s really happening is I’m being made aware of my longing for the Lord

It’s an ache that cannot be satisfied by a person or a community

And I’m reminded that’s what I’m after in this life

It’s that pain that guides me and drives my choices

I think it was the best birthday present He could’ve given me, the gift of longing.